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Post by DC on Nov 22, 2014 21:06:21 GMT -5
This is a more or less "closed" training for myself and one other. Environment: Hynleir, city within Phyr'alMinor city within Phyr'al ![](http://digital-art-gallery.com/oid/0/1366x544_223_Cloud_City_2d_fantasy_city_picture_image_digital_art.jpg) Characters Involved:- Zhen Xuan
- Vi'Kia
How this will work:We will be having a sort of "sandbox" roleplay within this thread to help you get acclimated to how roleplay here works, as well as help you with overall just general concepts. Do not let this forum intimidate you. Here is where you will get help in learning the ropes. Don't worry, I have patience, so I can spend as long as you'd like helping you. I'll start with general things such as overall detail and getting the point of what you're doing across. Then we will move up to things such as the Prep/Charge System so that you can participate in combat if you wish to be able to do that in things such as tournaments here. That having been said, there are simple things that I will repeat here that I expect. I expect you to be able to meet these, though if you do them I will not be mad. I will just make a note for you to read about where the post you made needs some work. - No Godmodding.
- Two-liners are frowned upon. The more detail you respond with, the more I have to work with.
- This is meant to help you learn. If you have questions about things in here, PM me with them.
I'll start this off, so you have something to work with.
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Post by DC on Nov 22, 2014 22:01:15 GMT -5
Day One: Crossing the Bridge Zhen Xuan was an ex-Shaolin monk, having fallen away from the Shaolin due to his becoming a Drexen-Corrupt. Though that was not a very well known specific within the people of Kalg'rai. For all they knew, he was just an ex-monk who liked to pick fights on occasion. He had made a name for himself in Sh'rutal a good time ago, and he had since then wandered out of the metropolis to see what else the continent had to offer. This is where he came upon the "floating city", more formally known as Hynleir. Hynleir was nicknamed "The Floating City" because it was placed on random chunks of land that were, to no great surprise, suspended within the air from the mana of the land itself. People had taken that opportunity to create a very good advantage for a city to have against the natural inhabitants of the continent. What is a better defense for a city than forcing any hoard of monsters to "bottleneck" their way into the city? The only entrances to the city were the bridges the floating islands reached out to, at the summits of a couple of mountains. These bridges themselves were long enough to be a day or two's travel, depending on how fast one was traveling. To the especially lazy, it could easily take four days. But even these bridges were not lacking in an enigmatic beauty. These bridges seemed to not even exist, as if they blended in with the environment. They were reflecting the clouds that the floating islands and bridges were suspended over. Only if one looked close enough, or had a sense of mana usage, would they know that the bridges were indeed there. The biggest hint, other than the highly concentrated mana of the land itself, was the fact that there were four-pointed star plaques at the edge of the summits. Zhen had discovered this mysterious city, to no great surprise, fortuitously. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that the plaques were the marks of the bridges of the city that he could see on the floating islands. So, with a high curiosity provoking him, he had brought himself to venture within the city. Though he was currently crossing the bridge, only just starting the first day's journey.
Hints to add detail to your post: Why is your character here? How did your character find this place? What is your character's thoughts and current activity(-ies)? If they're thinking about things go into detail about what they're thinking about. This is meant to tell a story, so even though you post it here, my character will not automatically know. He's not a mind-reader.
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lostheart
Wanderer
Posts: 4
Registered: Nov 22, 2014 20:55:13 GMT -5
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Post by lostheart on Nov 23, 2014 11:17:04 GMT -5
Vi'Kia was a drifter,after leaving Sh'rutal for an unknown reason to anyone in kalg'ria,going to different places,never staying in one place very long,for she felt a restless and unwelcome feeling wherever she went. Coming to the place of the "floating city" or Hynleir,sparked her interest more so than any other place so far,it was quite intriguing,the "island" floating mid air with no suspensions whatsoever. After a short time in studying how to get across,she realized that the plaques were signs of bridges leading across.
With her curiosity high she ventured on to her first days journey.
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Post by DC on Nov 23, 2014 11:39:23 GMT -5
Day One: Crossing the Bridge If Vi'Kia were to be traversing the bridge that Zhen happened to be walking along, he'd stick out like a sore thumb. First off, because he was really the only sight other than the city itself to be seen; he was the only one crossing the bridge besides herself. Zhen was aware that that he wasn't alone, however, he kept that known fact to himself; he didn't want to attract more attention than he already would've. He hadn't the slightest idea of what this person's motives were, nor was he particularly interested at this moment. He didn't suspect her to be following him, so he didn't really mind. Zhen kept forward at a fairly leisurely pace. He wasn't in any real hurry, so at this rate, he'd get there in two and a half days. He'd have to stop and rest at some point, but that wasn't on his mind at this very moment. Zhen was instead observing the beauty of the current environment. The sun was up, yet it wasn't extremely intense. Rather, it added to the mysterious allure of the environment itself. It was picturesque, to say the least. Zhen had a great appreciation for this, so he was more or less sauntering along to observe the scenery. It wasn't very often he got to view such wondrous sights, or endure endless adventures. This city could provide some interesting twists in his life, so he was content with this. The weather was clear, and since they were above the clouds, they wouldn't have to worry about things such as rain or snow, however, that didn't mean that it wasn't cold. Because there wasn't much to capture the heat, since they were above even where planes would fly, the air would actually produce a frost every time Zhen took a breath. This didn't bother him much, however. Zhen had enough self-control to stop himself from complaining or even shivering, however he couldn't control the goosebumps that became of his skin. His loose clothing didn't do much to heat him, but he wasn't under threat of freezing to death. It was just a barely-uncomfortable sense of being cold. Because he was currently alone, he was fairly silent on his little journey across the bridge. He wasn't very far out; he was maybe half an hour away from the plaque and edge of the summit of the mountain, and so he was still in sight, however he was just a small figure in the distance, of Vi'Kai had looked. Catching up would require a brisk pace, but not one to tire her out if she did try to catch up.
That was good, but try to add a little more detail. Something like that, what your character can see, smell, touch, etc. are all things you should include to improve the quality of your posts. Notice how in this post I focused a lot on what you could see and feel. Do that for your character. What they she can smell and see, what she can feel both emotionally and physically, anything like that. It's how you can milk out as much detail as you can.
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lostheart
Wanderer
Posts: 4
Registered: Nov 22, 2014 20:55:13 GMT -5
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Post by lostheart on Nov 23, 2014 14:05:28 GMT -5
Vi'Kia travelled forward taking in the wonderful beauty surrounding her. She indulged in the beauty for it was not often she would come to a place this calming and intriguing,she loved it's peaceful quietness and was able to think to herself. The sun was casting light,yet giving the place it's own special appearance and sensation.Though it was slightly cold for she was high up and frost was created with each breath,she was warm for her thick,black cloak captured the suns rays creating a warmth surrounding her.
Keeping a steady pace,quite like a gentle stroll,she walked along the bridge,keeping this pace she should come to the end in three days or less,with small stops in between.
She saw a Zhen in the distance,not far away,quite easy to catch up to without much effort,she didn't call out or make any extra noise though she was highly curious as to who they were,she didn't know what he could be capable of and she honestly didn't need a confrontation and enemy on the bridge.
She kept her pace though thought to be steady and somehow was now closer to the figure but still a good distance in between them.
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Post by DC on Nov 23, 2014 14:51:22 GMT -5
Day One: Crossing the Bridge Zhen kept a small amount of attention to the fact that he was being followed, though possibly not intentionally. Perhaps she was just going back into the city? Whatever the reasoning was, she didn't seem interested in approaching him just yet, so he wouldn't spend too much time thinking about it. It didn't really concern him. He continued onward, though his attention did start to drift to thoughts of when he should take a breather. Perhaps he would continue until every hour or so. It would allow his legs to rest, to allow for efficient travel. He would probably do the same throughout the night, as well, just to keep his time fairly reduced in traveling the bridge. In such methods, it would take him maybe a day and a half; it would half his time efficiently. Though sleep would have to be done at some point, so maybe not. At about the hour mark, Zhen would indeed sit down. He crossed his legs and rested his hands on his lap. He sat with a disciplined posture; he was not slouching and his posture was, in essence, every bit a "perfect" one. He closed his eyes and let his mind start to drift to its inner depths. As his mind started to enter the deep-meditation level, he would begin to "disconnect" from the real world, retreating into his "core". Despite this, his breathing slowed and entered a sleep-like pattern. In doing this, it would almost be the equivalent of sleeping, which would provide more energy than just sitting down. However, it wouldn't be as rejuvenating as actual sleep. This would just allow him to better travel until he did need to sleep later in the night. It was still a long while before even being noon, so he didn't need to worry about that just yet. He completely forgot all about the one that was nearing his position, while he retreated into his inner self. That was pretty good. Keep working on it; take note of what I explain to add detail to my posts, and try to replicate the "formula" so that you can milk even more details out. Right now, we're just working on adding details to add to the story. Pretend you're writing a book, here. If you write in here like you'd write a book, you'll be able to add more quality to it. Keep up the good work.
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lostheart
Wanderer
Posts: 4
Registered: Nov 22, 2014 20:55:13 GMT -5
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Post by lostheart on Dec 19, 2014 11:12:57 GMT -5
Vi'Kia walked at a steady pace,much like a gentle stroll as her surroundings gave her a calmness she early ever had,her thoughts peaceful much like the scenery around her and she had much time to dwell on her past comings,though that may not be a good thing. She thought also of what she was to do when she came to the city,she thought back and shivered in a chill as she thought of being shunned from the city,though the suns rays shining down,being captured by her thick,black cloak keeping her warm though the air around her was thin and cold due to the height of the bridge.
She looked up ahead again her thoughts now back to present time and she though of how long it should take to reach the city,her earlier thoughts of three days,she decided could be cut and instead it should take her a day and a half to two days,with resting points ever so often to keep her strength fresh for the journey.
She watched Zhen in the distance as he stopped and sat down into a crossed position looking very much like a perfectly carved statue. She realized that with him stopping she should reach him very soon and she thought back to past runnings with other significant ones and she hoped this one was not of that sort.
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Post by DC on Dec 19, 2014 11:55:39 GMT -5
Day One: Crossing the Bridge Zhen eventually came to a point where he could have easily forgotten that he was even in the physical world; he retreated that far into himself. His mind cleared out, and he was completely within a deep-meditative state. This allowed for a more enhanced rest, which would allow for far swifter travel when he would eventually pull himself out. Though there was one catch: since he was no longer aware of anything within the physical world, he would no longer have a way of measuring time. He would come back to reality whenever he did, and there was no way of knowing when that would be, at this point in time. There was also the possibility that the female Zhen had seen traveling before would attack him, however, he suspected that it wouldn't happen; if she wanted to attack him, she'd probably have attempted to do so already. He trusted that it would be safe enough; she seemed more interested in getting to the city. All sound escaped from Zhen's detection, all sight was cut off from his closed lids, all sensation lost as he entered the deep-meditation state; he was essentially no longer connected to his body, even though he had, more or less, retreated into it.
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